After the half marathon..

I’ve just run a half marathon, which is something I’m still slightly adjusting to saying out loud. For the past few months, it’s been the thing everything has revolved around. My weeks have been structured around training runs, long runs, and recovery, and there’s been a clear sense of purpose behind each session. Then suddenly, it’s done, and the whole build-up disappears almost overnight.

I think I expected there to be a clearer sense of closure afterwards. Something a bit more defined, like finishing a big piece of work and being able to properly step away from it. But in reality, it feels much less tidy than that. There’s still a sense of momentum, but without a clear direction, which has been harder to navigate than I expected.

Physically, the usual post-race fatigue is definitely there. My legs felt heavy for a few days, and everything took a bit longer to loosen up than normal. That part wasn’t surprising. What I wasn’t expecting, though, was the slight issue with my ankle that appeared not long after the race. It’s not painful in a way that immediately stops me from running, but it’s noticeable enough that I’m aware of it most of the time.

And that’s where things start to get a bit complicated.

If something is clearly wrong, the decision is straightforward. You stop, you rest, you deal with it. But when it’s just a niggle, it’s much harder to know what to do. It’s easy to convince yourself that it’s nothing serious, especially when you’re used to pushing through small discomforts during training. At the same time, it’s difficult to fully relax into your runs when there’s something in the background that doesn’t feel quite right. I’ve tried to carry on running in a fairly normal way, just being a bit more cautious. Shorter distances, slightly slower pace, and a bit more attention to how things feel as I go. But the biggest change hasn’t really been physical. It’s been mental.

Running is usually the one part of my routine that feels simple. I go out, I run, and I don’t think too much about it. Now, I’m noticing everything. How my foot is landing, whether I’m favouring one side, whether something feels tighter than it should. It’s surprisingly difficult to switch that off once it starts, and it makes the whole experience feel slightly less effortless.

I think part of the frustration comes from how consistent running has been for me recently. Alongside my PhD work and part-time job, it’s been one of the few things that has given my weeks a bit of structure. It’s also been a reliable way to step away from work, clear my head, and have a bit of time where I’m not thinking about data, analysis, or anything particularly academic.

So when that starts to feel uncertain, even slightly, it has a bigger impact than you might expect. It’s not just about missing a run or adjusting a training plan. It’s about losing something that helps everything else feel a bit more manageable. At the same time, I’m very aware that this isn’t a major injury. It’s not stopping me from doing everything, and I’m still able to stay active. But I think that’s what makes it more frustrating in some ways. It sits in that in-between space where you can continue, but you’re never quite sure whether you should.

There’s also the added layer of not having a clear goal anymore. During training, everything had a purpose. Each run contributed to something bigger, which made decisions about what to do fairly straightforward. Now, without that structure, I’m having to decide what I actually want from running over the next few weeks, and that feels less obvious than I expected.

Part of me wants to keep building on what I’ve done and maintain the level I reached during training. Another part of me knows that it probably makes sense to take a step back and let things settle properly before pushing again. At the moment, I’m trying to find a balance between those two approaches, which mostly means taking things on a run-by-run basis.

What has stood out quite clearly over the past couple of weeks is how much of running confidence comes down to trust. When everything is going well, you don’t think about it. You trust that your body will do what it’s supposed to do, and you focus on the run itself. As soon as something feels slightly off, that trust becomes less certain, and it changes the way you approach even simple sessions. It’s a small shift, but a noticeable one.

I’ve also found myself thinking about how similar this feels to other areas of my life, particularly my PhD. There’s a lot of uncertainty there as well, and a lot of situations where there isn’t a clear “right” decision. You make a call based on the information you have, see how it plays out, and adjust if needed. It’s not always comfortable, but it’s part of the process.

For now, I’m trying to approach running in the same way. Paying attention to what feels right, avoiding the temptation to push too quickly, and accepting that things might not progress in a completely linear way. It’s not the most exciting approach, but it feels like the sensible one.

I don’t think there’s a neat conclusion to this yet. It’s more of an ongoing adjustment than a clear turning point. But if anything, it’s been a useful reminder that things don’t always line up as cleanly as you expect them to, even when you’ve put in the preparation. For the moment, that just means taking things a bit more slowly, being a bit more patient, and seeing how things develop over the next few weeks.